Monday, November 21, 2011

Mom Guilt

Oy! The beauty of being a mother - and the pressure put on to be the best and do it all, all of the time.

I had a good day at work on Saturday - we were busy and the day flew by. I stopped off at Kohl's and Yankee Candle to score freebies and get a few Christmas gifts on my way home. I arrived home ready to get a shower and hang out with the Youth Group at Pesto's and a VU Basketball game.

Then I saw I had started to spot - again. I was scared and upset and called the doctor. She asked that I come to the Hospital and get checked out. I went in immediately and called a dear friend on the way for support and prayer. All checked out fine, no dilation, no contractions, and an ultrasound showed baby girl safely inside, playing away! It was a nerve-racking 3 hours, and many calls and texts to update Mike of what was going on. I lay in the bed worrying away....when the nurse came in with a smile and gave me the all clear. She ordered bed rest for 48 hours and a few further instructions.

I walked up to my unit to give my doctor's note with the order to stay home from work the next day. And it hit me: GUILT!! I feel awful about calling off. Then, the girls reminded me that rest is exactly what I need, and it was probably doing too much at work that got me into this in the first place.... Then, I felt worse. I had caused this, brought it upon myself.

I came home and got my babies in bed (without lifting one of them!) and snuggled in to relax and put my feet up.

Bed rest sounds like a lovely little vacation from chores and having to wear anything but sweats. But for me, Type A and a touch ADHD, sitting still is not one of my strong suits! I made lists, did homework, read, and folded laundry, and ordered a maternity support belt for work - all while sitting....I felt guilty about watching Mike get the boys showered and off to church, preparing meals, cleaning up, and he also had work to catch up on.

I would do anything to keep my baby safe and healthy, but little girl is giving me a run for my money! I am still resting today. My wonderful Mother-in-Law is coming to help out with the boys and I will check in and see what the doctor wants to do next.

I am following orders and trying like crazy to keep this nagging guilt at bay! I guess I'll just enjoy being the one to be taken care of and playing with my little boys.... :)


  1. Hey girl, so glad to hear things are looking pretty good. I was so worried on saturday and hated to "bother"mike with my many questions. So we just prayed. We will continue to do just so. And if you need anything(seriously), anything just let us know. thats what we are here for! :) And enjoy some rest. Believe me after 3 you don't get any! Oh and yes, girls give you a run for your money from day 1 until forever!! But they are a joy!!

  2. Praying for you and baby! I know first hand the guilt- watching everyone doing what you know you can do...but shouldn't. It's very hard, but the health of you and baby is most important. People will help because they love you and want to! Dylan decided to try and start his appearance October 16, 2010 when he wasn't due until December 10th!! (and even then he still was 5 weeks early.) I was told not to lift, and relax as much as possible...which for me is like a prison sentence, cause I don't sit still for very often and with two kids that is nearly impossible. But it can be done. I hope that all continues to go well. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and the baby!!!