Monday, June 13, 2011

A Letter Came....

While at work on Saturday I got a text from a girlfriend that she had received her letter from Ivy Tech in the mail. I got a knot in my stomach and my heart started racing! I couldn't wait to get home and check my mailbox....

I prayed the whole way home - "Lord, your will...not mine. Your will, NOT mine." I pulled in the drive and hopped out and grabbed the mail. There in my hot little hands was a letter from Ivy Tech. I breathed deeply and closed my eyes, trying to calm my shaking hands. I even took a picture of the unopened letter (for posterity's sake, and to post to Facebook). I opened it and my eyes immediately went to the word not (and yes, that is the exact way it appeared in the text!) I wasn't in - and apparently couldn't understand the rejection letter's wording without the bold, italicized, and underlined wording. Thanks for the salt in my wound, IT!

I cried - I think I cursed. I was so upset. I had worked hard! A 4.0 GPA and an above average TEAS test score....I gave up time with family and friends, hours of required sleep, and a large chunk of my sanity. What more do they want?

Mike is in Canada and didn't answer my call. I felt alone and stupid. (I hate to call myself stupid; it is far from the truth. But that letter made me feel that way!) I didn't want to share my news with anyone, and only a few people know about it as of now. I was okay with wallowing in self pity - and letting my anger creep in and steal my joy. And I did wallow on Saturday.

I was standing in church on Sunday morning and God spoke to me in EVERY song! {He works ALL things together for MY good!} {Hallelujah! What a Savior!}

Not my will, but yours, Lord

There will be answers to this. I will see - in HIS timing - what He has for me. I was so overcome with sadness over losing the baby - but I felt that maybe school was where I was supposed to be. Now with school seeming to be gone, I'm was not sure what to do....


I applied to Valpo Ivy Tech for both programs - LPN and RN. I have only been declined for the RN. I have not yet heard about the LPN program. The same at Gary Ivy Tech. I haven't heard on either from the Gary campus.

I refuse to be down about this. If I am to be in nursing - I will be. If God has another place for me - I will be there. And, for tonight, I am okay with waiting on Him. And I will praise Him and live for Him WHILE I'M WAITING.

Psalm 25
1 To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul;
in you I trust, O my God.
4 Show me your ways, O Lord,
teach me your paths....
 my hope is in you all day long.
7....for you are good, O Lord.
10 All the ways of the Lord
are loving and faithful...
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope is in you.

1 comment:

  1. It's so disappointing but I'm telling myself everything is the way He wants it. I'm trying to plan my next step, apply for the spring or get myself prepared to go to Purdue, at least I'd get a bachelor's there in 3 years. I don't know, it leaves me with so many questions. I do feel a peace about it now, I hope you do too. :)